Secret of Success

What is the illusive secret of success?

Why are some people so successful and others are not?

What can I do to be successful?

Have you ever heard these questions asked by someone around you — or perhaps you’ve even asked some of these questions yourself.

After observing extremely successful people for some time, it has become obvious that there is really no secret to their success!

Here are 20 of the most common attributes that successful people share:

  1. Successful people are motivated by their goals.  They get excited just talking about what they are planning to achieve.  They entertain thoughts of their goals all the time.
  2. Successful people have discovered that their success comes only when they accomplish the goal(s) that they set for themselves.  A “goal” is the big picture made up of many smaller tasks.  A goal cannot be accomplished instantly but only through the achievement of many smaller tasks that make up that goal.
  3. Successful people are motivated and do not procrastinate.  “Later” is not a word that successful people understand.  They are “in-the-now” type people.  They are so passionate about their goals that they cannot wait to finish one task and then get on to the next one.
  4. Successful people are “movers and shakers” of our society.  They are always busy completing one task after another.  Each of these tasks are directly linked toward that final goal they have set for themselves.
  5. Successful people are willing to go the “extra mile” when everyone else has already quit.  They are people with a mission in mind and they will complete that mission at all costs.
  6. Successful people are NOT quitters because they know that quitters never win and winners never quit.  Thomas Edison gave us the light bulb with that very attitude.  He never quit trying until he achieved ‘light’ in the’ ‘bulb!’
  7. Successful people have a passion for what they are doing.  They never embark on a venture that they cannot get excited about.
  8. Successful people care about others that surround them.  They never allow people into their inner circle who will not add any value to their life.  (i.e. someone who is a chronic complainer and speaks only negatively).
  9. Successful people usually have more than one goal that they are pursuing at a time — often they have about six or more goals in operation at the same time (depending on the size of the goal).  Their motivation does not allow them to just settle for one small goal and get bored.  They always have lots on their plate.
  10. Successful people never waste time and often don’t have any tolerance for people who do.  They cringe at the thought of being forced to sit and act like a couch-potato for even five minutes.
  11. Successful people recognize the importance of a healthy diet and proper rest.  Without these important factors, their mind becomes inhibited and are then unable to make solid/rational decisions.  (They are sometimes known to ignore this, even though they know to do better.  They only re-submit when they begin to feel sick.)
  12. Successful people are multi-taskers.  They love nothing better than to be doing two or three things at once.  (Of course, never try this while driving a car.) They are usually the ones who are rushing down the sidewalk at breakneck speed, carrying an over-stuff briefcase, on their way to a meeting, all the while talking on their cell phone.
  13. Successful people are willing mentors to those anxious and hungry to learn.  They take great pride in the things that they have learned from their efforts and are willing to impart this knowledge to a willing student.
  14. Successful people are not afraid of failure because that just means they will try again until they are victorious.  “Failure” is not part of the vocabulary of successful people.  Instead they see it as an opportunity to try again using a little different approach.  They will repeat this until they conquer.
  15. Successful people are often pioneers in the way they operate and may not have a map to follow.  This means they travel into a brand new arena where no other has yet dared to venture.
  16. Successful people “think outside of the box!”  This means that they see things from a different perspective then has ever been tried before.  They shift the paradigm and through motivation excite other people to “catch their vision” as well.
  17. Successful people are free thinkers and never try to be a follower.  They are always leaders, often with exceptional leadership skills.
  18. Successful people carry themselves with confidence and poise.  They may not always feel confident, but they refuse to let anything but confidence show.  They never allow set-backs to create discouragement.  Instead, they only work harder to accomplish the task set before them.
  19. Successful people behave professionally at all times and acknowledge the rights of others.  They look for things that they can learn from others and never feel that others are beneath them.  Successful people are always learning something new.
  20. Successful people rarely, if ever, second guess themselves.  They go with the first impression/thought/ decision.  If it doesn’t work, they can always come back and do it over again with a slight change.  Successful people look at second guesses as a waste of time.

There are many tidbits of good information listed above.

The most important point is that all successful people move towards their goal because their goal will not come toward them.

Success can be measured by each small task that is completed.

What’s Good About Today? Success is not for an elite group of people.  It is attainable by all who make up their mind to achieve it.  The secret is to break down the larger goals into smaller bite-size tasks that can be completed in a 24 hour time frame.

Check out my website:  motivation-4-success.com

Overcome Failure By Not Pleasing Everyone

Trying to please all the people around us all of the time, is a recipe for disappointment and a miserable lifestyle. It is unreasonable to even think that we can please everyone all of the time.

In my life’s experiences, I’ve noticed a clear 80-20 rule. If we please 80% of the people around us 20% of the time, that’s absolutely great. At the same time, 20% of the people around us will be displeased with us 80% of the time. Therefore, I’m sure you can see that it is absolutely impossible to please everyone around us all the time.

This article is birthed from my own difficult personal experiences and how I am still learning to over-come my unhealthy lifestyle. I’m hoping that someone else may take away some valuable information from here to help them in changing their lifestyle into a healthier one.

Refocus Conditioning From My Formative Years

As a child, I was brought up to obey my parents and to do what I was told. I knew that if I wanted my parents’ approval, I needed to do what they told me to do. Let me stop here and say that there is nothing wrong with that scenario – for children who are in the process of growing up and still learning about life.

However, as an adult, I learned that my focus needed to change from incessantly pleasing others to making my own wise choices from all the information around me. Ultimately, I was responsible for the choices I made, whether dictated to me by others or chosen on my own.

That didn’t mean that I should now completely ignore the advice from those around me. It just meant that I needed to put their advice/opinions into proper perspective. I needed to develop my own personal decision-making process by using all available information around me. I learned that advice from others can be invaluable but should NOT be used exclusively as the basis for any decisions affecting my life.

As a child, I would strive to please my parents to achieve approval, but as an adult, I needed to place the emphasis on making good choices for my life instead, which would ultimately provide self-confidence and satisfaction.

Dealing with Rejection

All my life, I wanted approval, acceptance and appreciation from others around me. To add an additional variable to this mix, I have a very difficult time dealing with rejection from others. I continually judge myself by the reactions, toward me, from others. I grew to hate who I was because I interpreted the rejection from others as a direct link between who I was and who I should be. I never seemed to quite “measure up” to the standards set by others.

To avoid dealing with the painful emotion connected to rejection, I would strive even harder to gain the approval of others by trying to please them more. The only thing I knew to do was doing what I learned as a child – comply with what others thought I should do. I hoped that through this submissive action, I would achieve their approval and perhaps avoid that dreaded feeling of rejection. If they approved, I thought that I might just have a small chance at finally measuring-up to those seemingly “unachievable standards” set by others.

Unfortunately, this is how I ended up living my life. I lived my life for others and, in the process, my uniqueness, as an individual was totally lost. This unhealthy lifestyle is filled with nothing but constant disappointments and hurt feelings. It’s like going from one bad experience to another, without any break.

Life became one miserable and vicious circle of co-dependency, as I tried even harder to please others and “buy” their approval. This put me right in the center of a very unhealthy lifestyle cycle.

Unhealthy And Unhappy Lifestyle Cycle

Below is a diagram depicting the “Unhealthy Lifestyle Cycle” that had become mine.

Unhealthy and Unhappy Lifestyle Cycle

Unhealthy and Unhappy Lifestyle Cycle

My cycle focused totally on pleasing others to win that brief moment of acceptance/approval. When I could not achieve this, the result was an intense feeling of disappointment and dissatisfaction with myself.

This resulted in a new and more vigorous attempt at gaining that most sought-after approval/acceptance from others. From there the cycle starts all over again, never achieving a feeling of self-confidence or self-worth.

This vicious cycle consumes a tremendous amount of energy and only produces high-stress and an incredibly unsatisfied, miserable life.

The ability to change this unhealthy cycle is difficult at first. I started by making one small conscientious change at a time until each change became routine. Soon it was easier and easier to implement small changes that produced positive results. Each little change produced a little more satisfaction and self-confidence.

I am still working at it and having more success with each passing day.

Healthy and Happy Lifestyle Cycle

Listed below is the ultimate lifestyle cycle that I have mapped out for myself.

Healthy and Happy Lifestyle Cycle

Healthy and Happy Lifestyle Cycle

I can’t promise that I won’t fail at it occasionally, but I don’t have to remain fastened to the Unhealthy Cycle any more. Now that I can see it written down, it becomes more obvious where changes need to be made.

In conclusion, the best thing I can do for myself is to be who I am and make the best choices for my life – not choose what I think would make others around me happy. I am confident in who I am and if people do not approve of me or accept me that is their choice. They have a right to their choices, the same as I do.

If I spend all my time trying to gain the approval/acceptance of the people around me, I may have just wasted my time on the wrong people. I am learning to find the right people, who will add value to my life. There are plenty of people in this world, that I haven’t even met yet, who are willing and able to add great positive value to my life. I can’t wait to meet them all!

What’s Good About Today? A healthy and happy lifestyle cycle is a matter of choice not an unchangeable inherited characteristic!

Check out my website:  motivation-4-success.com

Fear of Failure – How to Overcome it in 5 Steps

How does the “Fear of Failure,” (FoF), affect your life? How has the “FoF” factor affected the pursuit of your dreams? Does the “FoF” factor keep you from even attempting your dreams? How can you overcome the “FoF” factor and successfully accomplish your dreams?

Here are five steps you will need to take in order to face your “FoF” head on and over-come it!

1.     Identify where the fear originates from.

Thoughts are our worst enemies at times.  Often the FEAR of failure is much greater than the actual failure itself.

Fear is very much like a photocopier.  As long as there is paper in the machine and the copy-button is continually pressed, copies keep flowing.  Imagine that the copies made are the fear factor and the copy-button is a negative thought.  Each time we think a negative thought, it’s like pressing that copy-button and, of course, fear then duplicates itself.  Negative thoughts left unchecked can create quite a “mountain” of fear.

2.    Clearly identify the “FoF” thoughts.

Think about your fears.  Take time to be honest with yourself because these thoughts are the culprits that are responsible for keeping you from your dreams.  Mark them down on a sheet of paper and keep track of them.  The more you can mark down, the more leverage you will have in dealing with them.

Remember, the first step in facing and dealing with  fears is to acknowledge them.

Here is a list of the most common negative thoughts:

Thought #1: My friends and family will watch me fail.  How embarrassing!

Thought #2: People will gossip and make fun of me when I fail.  How humiliating!

Thought #3: I can’t afford to lose the start-up money.

Thought #4: I don’t think I have the ability to do it.

Thought #5: What if no one is interested in my idea?

To make matters worse, these negative thoughts have a way of pressing their own repeat-button and replaying themselves.  As they replay, additional negative details are added each time.  Then, in walks fear holding hands with all those negative thoughts.

As real as these thoughts, feelings and emotions may seem to be, they should never be allowed to take center stage before your dreams.

3.    Turn those negative thoughts around and see the new result.

Now it’s time for you to take the sheet of negative thoughts and re-write them.  Turn them into positive ones.  Keep this new list visible where you can see it often.

Listed below is a new set of positive thoughts:

Thought #1: My friends and family will be so proud of me when they see my accomplishments!

Thought #2: People won’t take notice of me if I quit.  They will, however, take notice of me if I keep trying and then succeed.

Thought #3: My dream has a price and I must be willing to take that chance.  If I don’t, I will go through life saying, “If only, I had tried…”  I have made up my mind that I am going to try and keep trying until I succeed.

Thought #4: I know I have abilities and I have made up my mind not to hide them under the “FoF” canopy any longer.  I have decided to use my abilities to accomplish my dream.

Thought #5: I know that I can and will be successful and when that happens, others will take notice.

Wow, what a difference!  Did you notice that the same basic idea exists in each of the thoughts?  The only difference is that the first set focuses only on the negatives, while the second set focuses on the positive.

4.     Make a plan to defeat the “FoF” factor.

Obtain a journal and write down your thoughts, ideas and inspirations.  This journal should be your constant companion because you never know where you’ll come up with another great idea/inspiration.  Leave plenty of space on this idea/inspiration page for growth.

On another page of the journal, write down all the reasons why you should be pursuing your dream.  Don’t forget to include all the positive outcomes of your successes while pursuing your dream.  Of course, the first positives on this pages should be all those negative thoughts turned into positives.  This will be your positive reinforcement when you get discouraged (and we all do at one time or another).  Don’t spare the ink on this one… and leave some extra space to fill in at a later day.  Read this page often.

The next thing to do is to create an outline of your plan to begin building your dream.  Create a rough outline listing the steps to building your dream.  Once the rough draft is complete, go back and fill in all the necessary details to completing each step.  Be as detailed as you can here.

Re-read your finished outline and make any changes and adjustments.  You may possibly be making adjustments even during the building process of your dream.

5.     Now is the time to begin building your dream.

Following your outline in your journal, begin assigning time frames to each step.  Set reasonable deadlines for each task and be faithful to them.

Work diligently and with passion — after all, this is your dream that you’ve always wanted.

Live with your dream, sleep with your dream, dine with your dream, entertain your dream and never squash the passion for your dream.

So What’s Good About Today? It’s never too late to stop the “FoF” factor and instead use that energy to chase your dreams.

Check my website:  motivation-4-success.com

Self-Motivated in 4 Easy Steps

Andrew Carnegie once said, “People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents.”

In other words, unmotivated people will need to be happy living in mediocrity.  I have yet to meet anyone that would totally fit that description.

Listed below are 4 opportunities for self-motivation.

1.    Make a clear list of your goals and keep it with you at all times.

Refer to this list often and become passionate about each and every goal.  Set your sights on achieving these goals and don’t let anyone talk you out of them.

Successful entrepreneurs are people who turn “off” their ears when someone tells them they “can’t do it!”  They do not understand the word, “can’t!”

Are your goals “beneath” you because you think you “can’t do anything bigger?”  If you think small, you’ll only achieve small!  That reminds me of the other day while driving downtown.  We were following behind a truck that had a sign giving the name of the business and then underneath it said, “Drywall Repair Service.”  My husband commented on the fact that this company only did drywall repairs — what a small dream.  Why not include a service for complete drywall installation or textured drywall surfacing.

Think BIG and work passionately towards that end and you’ll be surprised at your BIG achievements!

Remember Carnegie?  And… Mediocrity?

2.    Put your mind over matter!

Regardless of what you see as an “obstacle,” believe that you CAN overcome that obstacle and achieve your goals and then, guess what?  You can!  You really can accomplish your goals!

The “mind-over-matter” factor is the strongest force in the universe. If you believe you can do it, then you really can! Unfortunately, of course, the opposite is true as well.  If you believe that you cannot do it, then you really can’t!

You can only accomplish what you make up your mind to do. All goals are within your reach.  The only thing standing in your way is, whether you believe you can achieve them or not!

3.    Don’t ever focus on past failures or mistakes.

Thomas Edison was the great inventor that gave us (among other things) the “light bulb.” I’m not sure that anyone really knows how many times Edison tried the same test over and over again with only one small variable changed each time. Every time he tried the same test again and again, he was hopeful of success.

Thomas Edison never gave up trying until… at last… light in the bulb!

Edison didn’t understand the words, “Look how many times you’ve tried and failed!” - or - “You can’t do it!” Edison persevered and just kept trying over and over again.   He was more aware than anyone else that, “Success always follows perseverance.”

4.    There is no such thing as, “LUCK!”

Donald Trump once said, “The harder I worked, the luckier I got!” Hmmmm… then the opposite must also hold true.  “The less I work, the unluckier I get!”

So you see, luck has nothing to do with it! Hard work is the luck that everyone has access to. Hard work combined with perseverance is UNSTOPPABLE!

It’s not too late to make up your mind to be “Lucky!”  To be “Lucky” means to ignore all negatives while combining hard work with perseverance to accomplish the goals you set in #1.

Be the author of your own “luck,” because there is no “free-lunch!”

What’s good about today? We have the opportunity, right now, to discard mediocrity from our life and instead, begin a new journey that chooses to believe in the successful achievement of your BIG goals!

Check out my website:  motivation-4-success.com

The Good Life in America!

Obama

Today is a BIG day for America.  There are many changes taking place in our Capital City today and we as the American people are looking forward to a great year in 2009.

Today, America has a new President, a Democrat, who was sworn in yesterday as the 44th President.  I’ve heard some positive remarks and some negative comments about this.

Regardless of how you feel about having the Obama’s in the White House, the American people need to stand up and just be PROUD to be American.

America has something that no other nation on earth has:

  • Americans have a real “soft heart” that unifies the entire nation whenever tragedy strikes,
  • Americans experience a “freedom,” (in more ways than one) that is totally unique from the rest of the world,
  • America is the nation most sought after for new immigrants because it IS the greatest nation in the world,
  • Americans have an abundance of viable opportunities available to them,
  • America has no lack of the basic needs to sustain life.
  • And my list could go on and on….

Think about it! These are HUGE!

Many Americans just take these all for granted because they always seem to be there and the assumption is that they will ALWAYS be part of life.

Imagine with me for just one moment…….

…..if these wonderful things were all taken away from us.

Just think if we were all forced to live under some dictator from history, who enforced:

  • euthanasia on those of us
    • who were not physically “perfect”
    • who were getting too “old”
    • who didn’t embrace the theologies of those in charge
  • murder on those of us
    • who wanted our personal freedoms
    • who refused to be willingly submissive
    • who didn’t have the “right” ethnic background

and the horror of it could go on and on

Alright….. back to reality now!

Yep! I feel really blessed today to live in America, where we each have individual freedoms/rights as confirmed in the Constitution. We don’t have to live in fear of our own country. We’ve got it really good, America!

So, What’s Good About Today? Well, to sum it all up in a nutshell – Life in America is Good Today!

God Bless AmericaGod Bless America!

Check out my website:  motivation-4-success.com

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